Whether or not premature ejaculation is a problem for you, you can always improve sexual pleasure. Take a look at this great site on the coital alignment technique, one of the best ways for a woman to achieve orgasm during intercourse.
One of the most exciting things about premature ejaculation is that you can solve the problem at home using self-help techniques which can find on the Internet. One of the ones that I like the most is the concept of vaginal acclimatization.
The way this works is that you simply enter your partner and then, instead of moving, or thrusting, you simply lie still and allow the sensations of being enveloped in the warmth and wetness of her vagina to become something that you are relaxed & comfortable about.
You see, one of the problems for men who come quickly is that they very often find the very idea of entering a woman to be so exciting that they can’t withstand ejaculation. The way to deal with this is to expose yourself to the stimulus, a technique known as flooding, in psychotherapeutic language.
All you do by entering your partner and remaining still without moving, is to allow your body to acclimatize to the sensations of being inside her. Of course in practice it’s really much more about your mind, and about allowing your mind to accept that you can be inside a woman without becoming so excited that you inevitably ejaculate.
It’s a powerful and interesting technique, and you can see for yourself that it works if you enjoy only enough movement after you’ve entered your partner to maintain your erection. After about 10 minutes you will find that suddenly there’s a series of changes in the sensations that you’re feeling, both physically and mentally.
Instead of being overwhelmingly exciting, you’ll find that your urge to ejaculate has disappeared, and you are now able to last much longer without ejaculating. The sensation that you’re looking for is a change from excitement and intense physical pleasure to what I’ve heard described as a “dull sense of warmth” in your pelvic area.
Whether or not that’s an accurate description you can judge yourself! What I should add, however, that some men take as long as 30 minutes to experience this change in sensation. What you will experience thereafter is a different response when you enter a woman: you will feel much less need to ejaculate uncontrollably, and hopefully a great deal more control which should allow you to discover how to last longer in bed.
Another exciting and possibly revolutionary technique is that of pumping your pelvic muscles to reduce your arousal as you make love. Let me explain in full.
There is a widespread belief on the Internet you can squeeze your pubococcygeus muscle at the moment of orgasm to prevent yourself ejaculating. As I’ve said many times this is completely false, because the muscle is not strong enough to prevent ejaculation, and if you do try to squeeze it hard enough to do this, all you experience is a dull ejaculation and a diminished sense of orgasmic pleasure.
On the contrary, what you should be doing with your pubococcygeus muscle is squeezing it briefly for five seconds or so every time you feel your arousal increasing during the preliminary stages of lovemaking.
If you combine this squeeze with a deep in-breath and a sharp series of out-breaths, while imagining your sexual energy flowing up your spine and out of your body, you should find that your arousal decreases significantly.
In fact this technique has the power to soften your erection, which is visible proof of the fact that your sexual arousal and excitement is diminishing. Clearly this means that you can then go on making love for a lot longer without ejaculating.
It’s a simple and effective technique that you can use at home without any difficulty whatsoever to control ejaculation, but I will emphasize once again that it’s a very different technique to actually squeezing your PC muscle hard enough to prevent yourself ejaculating. As I said before, I believe this to be impossible. It is one of the Tantric techniques, and you’ll find much more information about various Tantric websites throughout the Internet.
Finally, the third technique I want to talk about in this post is that of using different sex positions to reduce your arousal. You may or may not have noticed that the man on top position is the most popular sex position in the Western world, for very good reasons. It allows men to thrust deeply, it allows men to get a feeling of dominance and to “possess” their female partner during lovemaking.
It also makes a man feel more powerful orgasm and ejaculation sensations. There is, however, one significant and major disadvantage of this position for those men who have tendency to ejaculate quickly. That is to say, because you have to support your weight on your arms, tension in your muscles builds up significantly as you make love.
Now because orgasm is itself a release of tension, in fact an explosive release of muscular tension, you can imagine that there has to be a buildup of tension before you reach orgasm.
It also follows that the slower the tension builds up, the longer you’ll be able to make love for. So conversely, if tension in your body builds up for any other reason, it will bring on your orgasm faster than you would otherwise reach it.
So supporting yourself on your arms during man on top position sex can really speed up your arrival at the point of ejaculation orgasm. What you really need to control ejaculation is a sex position in which there is very little pressure on your penis, and very little tension on your arms and torso.
The ideal position appears to be the side-by-side sex position, because although the woman will usually be delighted by the sensation that she experiences as you thrust into her, you may well feel comparatively little compared with a positions like man on top or rear entry.
Furthermore, it’s an ideal position to rest during lovemaking, because you can fondle her clitoris and breasts to maintain her sexual arousal while you rest and allow yourself space to reduce your level of sexual excitement.
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a condition in which a man ejaculates earlier than he or his partner would like him to. Premature ejaculation is also known as rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, premature climax, or early ejaculation. Masters and Johnson defined PE as the condition in which a man ejaculates before his sex partner achieves orgasm, in more than fifty percent of their sexual encounters.
While there is no agreed upon criteria, the most common definition is that premature ejaculation occurs if the man ejaculates within two minutes of penetration; however, a survey by Alfred Kinsey in the 1940s demonstrated that three quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters.
Premature Ejaculation can be differentiated into Primary, which is present from the time a male begins puberty, and Secondary, which is acquired later in the man’s life.
Premature Ejaculation can be further divided between Global Premature Ejaculation, which occurs with all partners and in all contexts, and Situational Premature Ejaculation which occurs in certain situations or with specific partners.
Most men experience premature ejaculation in their lives. Because there is great variability in both how long it takes men to ejaculate and how long both partners want sex to last, an accurate prevalence rate is hard to determine. Estimates range from as low as 5% to as high as 30%.
Researchers have begun to form a quantitative definition of premature ejaculation. Current evidence supports an average intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) of six and a half minutes in 18-30 year olds. If the disorder is defined as an IELT percentile below 2.5, then premature ejaculation means an IELT of less than about 2 minutes. Nevertheless, it is possible that men with abnormally low IELTs could be “happy” with their performance and so do not report a lack of control. Likewise men with higher IELTs may consider themselves premature ejaculators, suffer from detrimental side effects normally associated with premature ejaculation, and even benefit from treatment.
Mechanism of Ejaculation
The emission phase is the first phase. It involves deposition of seminal fluid from the ampullary vas deferens, seminal vesicles, and prostate gland into the posterior urethra. The second phase is the expulsion phase. It involves closure of bladder neck, followed by the rhythmic contractions of the urethra by pelvic-perineal and bulbospongiosus muscle, and intermittent relaxation of external urethral sphincters.
It is believed that the neurotransmitter serotonin (5HT) plays a central role in modulating ejaculation. Several animal studies have demonstrated its inhibitory effect on ejaculation. Therefore, it is perceived that low level of serotonin in the synaptic cleft in these specific areas in the brain could cause premature ejaculation. This theory is further supported by the proven effectiveness of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which increase serotonin level in the synapse, in treating Premature Ejaculation.
Sympathetic motor neurons control the emission phase of the ejaculation reflex, and expulsion phase is executed by somatic and autonomic motor neurons. These motor neurons are located in the thoracolumbar and lumbosacral spinal cord and are activated in a coordinated manner when sufficient sensory input to reach the ejaculatory threshold has entered the central nervous system.
Several areas in the brain, and especially the nucleus paragigantocellularis, have been identified to be involved in ejaculatory control. Scientists have long suspected a genetic link to certain forms of premature ejaculation. In one study, ninety-one percent of men who have had premature ejaculation for their entire lives also had a first-relative with lifelong premature ejaculation. Other researchers have noted that men who have premature ejaculation have a faster neurological response in the pelvic muscles.
Simple exercises commonly suggested by sex therapists can significantly improve ejaculatory control for men with premature ejaculation caused by neurological factors. Often, these men may benefit from anti-anxiety medication or SSRIs, such as sertraline, paroxetine or Dapoxetine, as these slow down ejaculation times. Some men prefer using anaesthetic creams; however, these creams may also deaden sensations in the man’s partner, and are not generally recommended by sex therapists.
Premature ejaculation should be distinguished from erectile dysfunction related to the development of a general medical condition, and a diagnosis should be made using the patient’s sexual history looking for a history of; decreased intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT), a poor control over ejaculation, dissatisfaction felt by patient or partner, as well as feelings of distress by patient or partner. Premature Ejaculation may co occur with Erectile dysfunction, with almost half of men suffering from premature ejaculation experiencing erectile dysfunction as well.
Some individuals with erectile dysfunction may omit their usual strategies for delaying orgasm, while others require prolonged noncoital stimulation to develop a degree of erection sufficient for intromission. In such individuals, sexual arousal may be so high that ejaculation occurs immediately. Occasional problems avoiding premature ejaculation that are not persistent or recurrent or are not accompanied by marked distress or interpersonal difficulty do not qualify for the diagnosis of premature ejaculation.
The clinician should also take into account the individual’s age, overall sexual experience, recent sexual activity, and the novelty of the partner. When problems with premature ejaculation are due exclusively to substance use (e.g., opioid withdrawal), a substance-induced sexual dysfunction can be diagnosed.
Many men find the idea many men find the idea that it is possible to control when they ejaculate during sex to be fascinating. This is undoubtedly because few men actually have control over the timing of ejaculation during intercourse.
We are accustomed to the idea of sex as foreplay, penetration, and thrusting, followed by the man being carried away on a surge of increasing sexual arousal with little or no discrimination about the point at which he ejaculates.
Whether the woman likes it or not, this is what she has to accept, for it’s conventional wisdom that when the man ejaculates, sexual intercourse is over for the couple. Apart from the sexual politics that one might justifiably ascribe to such a patriarchal view of sexual intercourse, it is deeply unsatisfying from both a physical and emotional point of view for the woman.
For one thing, when sexual intercourse finishes, the woman is not sexually satisfied, whether that means emotionally fulfilled by the duration of intercourse, or physically pleasured by having achieved orgasm during intercourse. In either case, she experiences the end of intercourse as an emotional break, as a separation, as a distraction, from her connection to her partner.
Bearing in mind the importance of sexual intercourse to women as a sign of how much they love their partner, and their willingness to accept him – literally – inside her body, this can be a very distressing moment for the woman. And yet most women accept this as if it were not a problem; as I say, we are so accustomed to patriarchal view of sex that says intercourse finishes when the man ejaculates that it becomes almost impossible to change people’s expectations – even when they are deprived of pleasure.
Equally, for the man, the expectation around intercourse is that he must simply thrust and ejaculate, and in some sense it doesn’t really matter whether he has much orgasmic control or not — as long as he achieves orgasm inside the woman, and as long as he feels sexual and emotional pleasure, then that’s good enough.
Well, I say that there’s a completely different way of looking at sex, which is associated with pleasure and satisfaction for both partners, and comes from having a duration of intercourse which is adequate to meet the needs of both members of a couple. For the man, this means having a feeling of satisfaction and pleasure, one that comes from being able to control the point at which he ejaculates during intercourse, and from knowing that he can control himself until his partner has taken her pleasure from lovemaking.
Moreover, he may feel masculine and powerful because he can bring her to orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. For her, it involves physical contact and emotional connection with her partner which is prolonged, and not subject to the disruption of intercourse coming to an abrupt end when the man ejaculates, in the way described above.
Furthermore, since many women could reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, given a prolonged thrusting from the man, it will give her a much better chance of reaching a (deeply satisfying) G spot or vaginal orgasm, which is a profoundly different experience to a clitoral orgasm.
She is bound to be much more fulfilled, because the G spot orgasm is an emotional as well as a physical experience, and provides her with deep fulfillment at every level of her being.
So the question remains, therefore, why is it that more men do not seek to achieve greater ejaculatory control? I think one of the reasons is a widespread belief that it’s actually difficult to achieve this – a manifestly false belief based on the fact that men have undoubtedly been widely conditioned to expect that they have no responsibility for their partner’s orgasm during lovemaking.
The excuses offered by men who cannot control ejaculation during intercourse is that self-control is too difficult, and it is natural to ejaculate after a few minutes. But this really avoids the question as to what self-control during sexual pleasure actually means.
Control over ejaculation means that a man can choose when he ejaculates; in essence, he is able to continue making love for as long as he likes while still remaining below the point of no return, also known as the point of ejaculatory inevitability.
Only when he chooses to increase his arousal through and beyond the point of ejaculatory inevitability, the point that will trigger his ejaculatory reflex, by for example, speeding up his thrusting, or thrusting deeper and harder, will he receive sufficient stimulation to take over the point of no return.
Not that it’s easy, of course, but even so the question arises why more men don’t do this. The obvious explanation is that most men are not able to maintain their level of arousal below the point of no return, usually because they are too anxious during intercourse to remain in a state of arousal sufficient to enjoy sex but stay below the point of ejaculatory inevitability.
Anxiety is a potent stimulant for ejaculation during sexual arousal because it works on the autonomic nervous system in exactly the same way that sexual arousal does, bringing a man closer and closer, very quickly, to the point of ejaculation – whether he wishes it or not.
This is, in itself, a poor reflection on most men’s ability to accept sexual stimulation without feeling anxious about it.
In my opinion this undoubtedly comes from the lack of male initiation rituals – processes which enable men to step into their power – combined with a societal deficit in educating men as to exactly what male roles and responsibilities are, both within a relationship and during sexual intercourse.
It probably isn’t anybody’s fault: we know that initiation rituals enable men to step into their power as masculine men and that they died out during the industrialization of society, the consequences being profound for everybody.
On a superficial level, the most obvious consequence is that the man does not emerge from sex feeling powerful and strong, and the woman does not enjoy the kind of intercourse that would enable her to reach orgasm during sexual activity.
Whether or not this matters is hard to say; one might assume that if it did matter then more people would be striving to get ejaculation control techniques under their belts, as it were, and yet so few men try this approach that one has to assume there’s a general acceptance that things are satisfactory just the way they are.
If you disagree with this then click here for more details and look at the program “Ejaculation by Command” by Lloyd Lester, which gives you full instructions on how to maintain control during thrusting and intercourse.
Even men with a lot of experience of enjoying sex may find they come too quickly from time to time. It’s pretty much inevitable, mainly because we seem to be genetically programmed to reach orgasm rapidly. If it is, then there’s no shame in acknowledging you need to learn how to last longer in bed. This will give you and your partner great satisfaction.
Avoiding premature ejaculation is not just about giving enjoyment to the woman, however. Finding out how you can last longer in bed can ensure that as a man you feel happier about yourself, more confident and sexy; it also means you’ll have a happy partner in your life. This is because the majority of women crave the intimacy and connection of extended lovemaking.
All of this makes a powerful case for learning the art of ejaculation control. The average duration of intercourse turns out to be around three minutes, but lovemaking that lasts for so short a time will not satisfy most women.
Even so, it can be a challenge to deal with premature ejaculation. Wrapped up in the excitement and arousal of making love, all the good intentions which a man may have before he gets into bed are likely to go out of the window quite quickly, and a cycle of rapid ejaculation and low self- esteem can develop.
Despite that, with the right strategy, the vast majority of men find they can significantly enhance their performance in bed and become longer 100 % committed to last longer while having sex. Remember, though, the good feelings which come with a powerful orgasm and ejaculation can be so powerful – making you forget your efforts to control your climax – that getting your head in the right place is essential: if you don’t want to last longer for your own pleasure, do it for your partner’s sake, because when she’s happier in bed your whole relationship will improve dramatically.
The second step in extending your staying power is learning to be relaxed during intercourse. When your muscles are tense you’re almost certainly going to ejaculate more quickly than you would if you were more relaxed. One way that you can prove this to yourself is to make love in the man on top position and then to try sex with the woman on top. In the first case you’re much more tense, and you’re likely to ejaculate much more quickly. You can help void tension – and so premature ejaculation - by being aware of the rhythm and pace of sexual intercourse. Every time you find your breathing is quick and shallow, take a deep breath, pause, and develop or re-establish a slower rhythm.
You should always strive to develop greater sensitivity to your body at the approach of orgasm. When you become more aware of your level of arousal, it is possible to slow down or stop the tempo of lovemaking until your arousal has decreased. The simplest way to learn how to do this is to practice during masturbatory self pleasuring – use ample amounts of a good lubricant like jojoba oil and allow yourself plenty of time. Repeatedly masturbate yourself to the point where you feel you might reach orgasm, but stop before you actually ejaculate. It won’t be long before you find you have much greater ability to maintain a high level of arousal without ejaculating. No matter how rapidly you reach the point of orgasm when you start this exercise, keep going, keep bringing yourself to the point of orgasm in backing off . Use self-discipline so you don’t ejaculate, and you’ll rapidly find that you can take more stimulation without ejaculating.
You need to try to stimulate yourself more or less continually for up to a whole hour without ejaculating; take care to notice how it feels in your body when you approach orgasm. That’s essential knowledge, because when you’re making love you need to know how turned on you are – and your body can tell you. Most men who try this rapidly discover that they can last for at least 20 – 30 minutes during sex without any difficulty. You can then use a similar technique when you’re actually making love to your partner to increase your staying power even further.
Premature ejaculation (PE), simply put, is where a man ejaculates before he or his partner want him to come. PE can be called rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, early ejaculation or premature climax. Masters and Johnson defined PE as where a man climaxes before his partner’s orgasm more than half the time. Nowadays there is no agreed definition but most sex clinicians agree that PE is where ejaculation occurs within two minutes of penetration. But Alfred Kinsey’s survey in the 1940s showed that 75% of men climax within two minutes! PE has two types: “Primary”, which is there from puberty, and “Secondary” which occurs or develops later. PE can also be classed as “Global”, which occurs with all partners and “Situational” which occurs with specific partners.
Most men get PE at least once in their sexually active lifetime. Every man has his average duration for making love, and every man, and couple, have their own expectations, so it is difficult to say what is ‘premature’ and what is normal. Studies show that there is an average ‘intra-vaginal ejaculation latency time’ (IELT) of six and a half minutes. This suggests that any time below 2 minutes is abnormal. But it is possible that some men with low IELTs could be OK with it and don’t complain. Also men with high IELTs could be unhappy with it and could even benefit from treatment to avoid premature ejaculation.
This is how ejaculation works. First, the emission phase puts seminal fluid from the seminal vesicles into the posterior urethra. Next is the expulsion phase which includes closure of bladder neck, followed by the regular muscle contractions. The neurotransmitter serotonin is vital in ejaculation control, so low levels of serotonin in the brain may possibly be a causative factor in PE. This means PE can, at least in theory, be avoided by using certain prescription drugs (SSRIs) which increase serotonin levels.
Several areas of the brain are known to be involved in ejaculatory control, which tells us there may be a genetic link to certain forms of PE. One study showed that 91% of men who have always had PE had a near relative with the condition. If PE is caused by neurological issues, simple exercises prescribed by sex therapists can do the trick, but if that fails, medications can help as suggested above.
When it comes to diagnosis and cure, the clinician should take into account the individual’s age, sexual experience, recent sexual activity, and the relationship with the partner. The clinician should also ask if substance use is a factor in the man’s life. It is important to look at the general medical condition, with particular reference to the patient’s sexual history, ejaculation control and any dissatisfaction felt by patient or partner.
PE is not the same as erectile dysfunction although the two can go together as almost half of men with PE have erectile dysfunction as well. Some men with erectile dysfunction tend to omit strategies for delaying orgasm, while others require longer foreplay to develop a proper erection. Sometimes sexual arousal can be so high that ejaculation occurs immediately. Please note that occasional climaxing problems that don’t persist do not count for the diagnosis of premature ejaculation.
Is Porn Ruining Your Sex Life?
What I’m going to say in this article may not make me the most popular man around. But I think it’s important to talk about this reality that impacts our lives in many ways.
Porn has never been so easy and quick to have access to. It’s hard to avoid, convenient to obtain, and it’s always there when we want it. Porn is mainstream today…
Don’t worry…I’m not here to say that porn is bad and we should all avoid it. But I do believe it’s adversely influencing the sex life of a lot of people, and maybe you should consider stopping using it, so as to avoid premature ejaculation.
I also think all men should be aware of the possible effects of porn on their sexual experience and performance, especially around premature ejaculation.
Here are 3 ways porn may make you a bad lover.
Have you forgotten foreplay?
Porn is made for men. It’s visual and right to the point. Very rarely do you see any foreplay. But that’s such an important aspect of making love. While men are able to get turned on very quickly by a visual stimulus, women need more time in order to cultivate their sexual arousal before being ready for more. Setting up the mood slowly is often necessary for a woman to experience great sex.
Very rarely do you see any kissing, touching and caressing in porn. But this is an important aspect of being a great lover…because women love it. Men too should enjoy this part of making love. It’s all about building up desire more and more until both lovers can’t wait to have sex.
Take your time…who’s in a rush? Avoid quick lovemaking, and you’ll be half way to knowing how to avoid premature ejaculation.
Are you lasting long enough?
When you are masturbating while watching porn, you are actually training your body and your mind to ejaculate quickly. Porn is made specially to excite men. So no surprise it makes us come quickly. Let’s face it, watching porn is usually a race to the finish.
It’s then difficult to take our time and control our arousal when we are having sex with a partner. The body has got accustomed to ejaculating quickly; and men learn to surrender to the urge to ejaculate as soon as it develops. As you know, avoiding premature ejaculation is all about learning to live & make love with that urge for longer before you come.
When you are watching porn, your focus is on something outside of you, and you are focusing on the visuals only. In order to last as long as you and your partner want in bed, in order to be in control of your arousal level at all times, you need to be aware of all the sensations in your body. You need to avoid focusing on one small area of arousal that may cause premature ejaculation.
While it might be premature to say that your tendency to rapid ejaculation is directly related to how much porn you watch, it’s most likely that masturbating while watching porn is not going to help you last a long time in bed.
Are you really satisfying your woman?
What does it take to satisfy a woman sexually? Giving her an orgasm is one answer, but probably not the best one.
Sure, orgasm is a great thing but a woman can be satisfied even if she doesn’t have an orgasm every time she has sex. And conversely, a woman who has regular orgasms may not be fully satisfied. And, as you may already know, while some women may avoid premature ejaculation – or, rather, men who can’t control their ejaculation – like the plague, others are perfectly happy provided they have lots of intimate connection with their lovers.
A woman needs to feel deep intimacy to feel completely satisfied, she needs to connect with her lover deeply. How do you do that? Giving enough time and attention to foreplay is a good place to start. Making love to her long enough because you can control your arousal is great too.
But if you want to truly be a great lover, you need to also pay attention to what happens AFTER you make love to your partner.
When both partners really connected, when they trusted each other enough to open up, when they both shared sexual tension and desire, time together after sex is a place of vulnerability.
A lot of men are not comfortable with that. They get up to go to the bathroom, they light up a cigarette – anything to change the mood and avoid post-ejaculation tenderness. But while the post-sex connection may be a time of vulnerability, it’s also perfect to create a deep intimate connection with your partner. Stay close to her, caress her, kiss her, talk to her and stay present, in the moment.
Stay there with her for a while after sex and your woman will feel closer to you than ever. The level of intimacy she craves will be fully satisfied. That, my friend, is being a great lover, not just knowing how to avoid premature ejaculation.
These are just some of the ways porn might be messing up your sex life. So my suggestion is, leave the laptop closed once in a while and reconnect with your partner. Remember how great it is to take your time.
Overcoming premature ejaculation, controlling ejaculation and spreading sexual energy around the body is a way to achieve erotic ecstasy. To avoid PE you will have to develop your control, staying power and erotic sensitivity.
Premature ejaculation can deplete your sexual energy reserves, and it certainly does not make you feel good; with ejaculatory control will come multiple orgasms, sexual energy flowing freely between you and your partner, amd extraordinary staying power.
Some men are naturally gifted with immense erotic energy, great sensitivity and a high degree of mental control. This can lead to non-ejaculatory orgasm after just a few weeks of ejaculation control; other men take longer.
To control your sexual energy and to avoid ejaculation, premature or otherwise, breathe as deeply as you can in a relaxed way. Breathing is thought to be an involuntary act, but it can be conscious, too; we breathe without thinking until we change the natural rhythm of our breath. Breathing slowly can slow down the heart and fast breathing can speed it up.
During sex, when you approach ejaculation, your heart speeds up tremendously. Slowing down your breath slows down your heart, taking you away from the danger of ejaculation occurring before you wish it to happen.
Most people breathe superficially at the level of the thorax – this leads to poor oxygenation of the lungs. Abdominal breathing fills our lungs with air; we can do this by choice, and when we are happy and we laugh, we breathe abdominally. And it’s a crucial part of avoiding premature ejaculation!
Inhale through your nose and feel how the lower part of your abdomen becomes filled with air, so that your navel is pushed outwards. Your diaphragm will go down.
Exhale forcefully through your mouth, so that the lower part of your abdomen is pulled back, as if you want to move your navel towards your spine. You can feel how your penis and testicles are drawn upwards.
A few minutes of abdominal breathing every day will make your body breathe deeply automatically, naturally, even as you sleep. And as I said, for a man to know how to avoid premature ejaculation, this type of breathing is essential. It also expands the erotic sensations through your entire body.
Once you can avoid ejaculation your breathing exercises will help the sexual energy circulate throughout your body. Then it can be transformed into loving mental and powerful spiritual energy. Further, abdominal breathing relieves the pressure most men experience in the pelvis when they are avoiding premature ejaculation. (All beginners at sexual continence, who avoid orgasm, feel this accumulation of sexual energy in the pelvic area. The energy needs to be disspated to avoid irritability, confusion, and edginess.)
If you want very concrete techniques to overcome ejaculation without control and simple exercises set out in a step by step guide I recommend Ejaculation By Command for more information and techniques. This is all about avoiding loss of ejaculation control and for a man who wants to learn how to last longer in bed, avoiding rapid ejaculation in the process, it is an excellent place to start.
PC (pubococcygeous) Muscle Contraction
Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles, that is to say the muscles around the scrotum, penis and anus every time you become too excited or aroused; if you aren’t sure which muscles to contract, practice interrupting your urine stream in the bathroom. This will show you how to avoid premature ejaculation.
Pressing on the perineum, or rather the little dimple in the perineum, located midway between your scrotum and anus, can reduce your urge to ejaculate because this is over the prostate gland and pressure on the prostate makes it less urgent that you ejaculate. Your sexual partner can do this for you to help you avoid ejaculating!
When a man approaches orgasm his scrotum rises up closer to his body, but the truth is that (unlike the rumours that fly around), you simply cannot avoid premature ejaculation by pulling your testicles down in the scrotum.
Penis Tip Squeeze
However it is true that squeezing your penis just beneath the glans can stop approaching ejaculation. As you can imagine, you have to come out of your partner’s vagina but you can practice on your own while masturbating.
When you squeeze your PC muscles, and at the same time roll your eyes upward, while simultaneously touching your tongue to the roof of your mouth behind your top front teeth, you can also imagine your sexual energy passing up through your body. You must also use deep breathing techniques to “blow” the energy around your body. This is one of the most effective ways of delaying ejaculation. It’s a Taoist technique that circulates your sexual energy rather than having it remain locked in your genital region.
It is simpler to avoid premature ejaculation by moving your sexual energy throughout your body rather than by struggling to avoid ejaculating. You can pause in your sexual thrusting, relax, and breathe deeply and slowly until your arousal has decreased and you can once again avoid ejaculating.
You and Your Prostate Gland
When you practice overcoming ejaculation it is very important to ensure the prostate gland doesn’t become sore. You can do a massage which prevents this by pressing on the perineum, where you will be able to feel the prostate as a walnut shape. try massaging it in a clockwise motion, using a piece of silk to reduce friction on the perineum.
Enjoy a combination of deep and shallow thrusts; 1.5 to 2 inches inside your partner for shallow thrusts, and as deep as you can for deep thrusts. The most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina is the outer two inches…… so what you do is to enjoy a series of nine ly quick shallow thrusts followed by a single slow deep thrust. The shallow thrusts will effectively stimulate sensitive vaginal tissues around the G spot and create a vacuum that makes her eagerly anticipate the deep thrust which comes next. As for ejaculation, well, the shallow thrusts arouse you much less, so you avoid ejaculating prematurely.
Mind over Muscle
By squeezing your PC muscle you can gradually discern each separate muscle group and then you will be able to contract or relax them at will. Initially, tightening your PC muscle will make everything will contract at once. As you practice, you will find you can tighten your anus without moving your penis or scrotum, or tighten your scrotum without contractng your anus….or twitch your erect cock while everything else stays relaxed.
If you practice enough, you can develop these skills to the point where your smooth genital muscles will relax on command, sending sexual energy into your partner through eye contact, projection, during intercourse, or just touching. Becoming aware of your smooth muscles and gaining mastery over them means you can keep them relaxed, which in turn enables blood to flow into the penis almost indefinitely.
This isn’t just avoiding premature ejaculation, it’s delaying ejaculation indefinitely, so that so you can satisfy even the most demanding partner….and getting control over the smooth muscles in your pelvis will let you maintain peak arousal for long enough to experience whole body orgasms.
In a whole body orgasm you become a erogenous zone, reaching orgasm through touch anywhere on the body, no matter how aroused, excited, or turned on you are.
You can avoid premature ejaculation and enjoy whole body orgasms by simply training yourself to stop thinking about ejaculation or how to avoid ejaculation. But don’t divert your attention from lovemaking because you need to be present all the time…..
Instead of thinking about about ejaculating too quickly, think about pleasing your partner, and also get pleasure yourself from knowing how to please your woman. So you will, for example, explore around her clitoris and notice how she reacts, but at the same time, be aware of how her clitoris feels on your tongue…….notice how her skin feels soft and war as you kiss her, notice how her breasts feel in your face as you suck her nipples…and so on…..
Keeping your attention on your partner, and whatever else is going on, will ensure you can avoid premature ejaculation and last a very long time… perhaps for hours. As you do so, the energy between you and your lover will mount to such a high level that your higher Chakras or spiritual centers may open….leading you to ecstasy, bliss, joy, and wonder. This is where delaying ejaculation can take you and your partner.